Tuesday, September 29, 2015


Man alive!  Anyone who says being a parent is easy is a big, fat, hairy LIAR.  Or perhaps they just don't have children.  If the former, confess and God will forgive your sins.  He is nice like that.  If the latter, you are right.  Parenting is so easy.  You should have a few and give me a call when the first turns three.

I have four children right now.  Two are flesh of my flesh.  Two are heart of my heart.  This many blessings means Momma does not get to see movies when they are first released.

Therefore, I just watched Philomena for the first time.  This movie has torn me up.  I realize my previous sentence is hardly a compelling incentive to watch said movie, but if you have not seen it, you should go fix that problem right now.

Philomena got me thinking.  Isn't that what all great art should do?  But these thoughts - good gravy!  My brain is crowded with them.  There is no way to categorize them or silence them.  Thoughts about birth-parents.  About when our children grow up.

It got me wondering when our heart-children will someday want to know about their birth-parents.  Right now, our loves do not really know they are in foster care.  At one and two-years-old, all they know is they are home, and we are their parents.  As they grow up, they will know they are adopted.  We do not plan to ever keep that a secret.  We already talk about it now.  That is the easy part - knowing they will know.
The hard part is divulging their story.  Questions swirl in my head.  What do we tell them?  How young is too young to know of some of life's harshest realities?  How much do we share?  What is too much?  When should we share their birth-parents' names?

Each question brings another question.

Even though we clearly have more questions than answers, I want our children to know they can ask us anything.  I do not want them to ever feel like some things are "off limits" to discuss.  This is their life.  So...
My Darling Heart-Child,

Today you splashed in puddles with your sisters. You giggled and danced about in the water.  While you enjoyed the blissful existence that is childhood, I sat thinking about someday.
You see, someday you may want to know about your birth-parents.  You may want to see a picture of them.  You might want to know what kind of people they are.  Where they are.  Why you were removed.  This is normal.  It in no way will diminish the love we share.

I will not have all the answers you seek, but some facts I will know.  This information will be guarded until you are ready.
On that someday, if you want to know more, I will search with you.  I will hold your hand.  I will stand beside you.  I will cry with you.  I will be angry with you.  I will forgive with you.  Most importantly, I will PRAY with you and just BE THERE.

But you know what?  Someday might not come for you.  You may decide you do not want to know.  That is completely fine and normal, too.  There is no rule book to adoption that must be followed.

Whatever you decide, know this, dear one, God created a breathtakingly beautiful YOU from your birth-parents.  For that, I will be eternally grateful to Him and them.  Being your momma is my joy, my dream come true, my long prayed for miracle.



Become a Foster Parent

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Hannah! They are blessed. We are blessed. You amaze me always.